Convinced that life in a physical body is meant to be an ecstatic experience.

It's also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that's sitting right here right now... with its aches and it pleasures... is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive -Pema Chodron-

I live in company with a body, a silent companion, exacting and eternal.

Eugene Delacroix (1798 - 1863)

Love this two quotes. Tiring day. I have not eaten, but i dont feel hungry. All i need now is to rest.
And no matter how it is, i believe in my own body's ability. I can do it. I knew it. I'll pamper my body, by giving her a sufficient rest. Good night to my body. Rest well.

A New Hope

I saw one of my friend's quote ;

"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future." (Beverly Flanigan)

Well said. Past is past, life have to still go on no matter what. It seem like im still holding on, but frankly, i admit that i still cant find my 100% feelings towards you. Im sorry. Maybe it takes time. It dont really comfort me even though we have this suggestion to look over on you. How long can i control you?

I hope everything which has passed will be the last, and it will never happen again. I really realized that different people has different thinking. Others might be saying 'no, i think you are wrong, or vice versa, but the truth of what happened only god knows. Im still me, and i will still be myself. I wont change because of anyone. That's me. Jess. All i can say is it really depends on future, what will happen next. I do hope that we can get married, who doesnt hope for that, unless that particular person is playing with you.

All i can say i just want to be myself, and i wont change this perception. I will change automatically as i grow elder. So i hope no one will judge anything. I will for sure welcome you if you want to be my listener. We dont force someone to change, it takes time. I guess everyone understand this. If you like yeah you are welcomed. But if you dislike, 'hey i didnt ask you to be here'. Guess it shows what i mean. Im me, i have my own thinking, own perceptions.

Okay back to the topic, I love you, and i hope you will never hurt me again. Thats all. smple message from me.